Wedding Recap: the I Do's and I Don't
I’ll start off by saying I was one of those girls that had pinterest boards of my ideal engagement ring and wedding aesthetic before I was even engaged. After my dream proposal 2022 in front of Disneyland’s Castle, I was ready to hit the ground running with the planning process. Ask anyone that truly knows me, I’m in my element when it comes to throwing events. Yet even with my passion for coordinating, I still had moments of stress and feeling overwhelmed. For those entering their bridal era, here is my journey and hopefully some useful wedding wisdom.
Planning:
Set a budget and prioritize where you want to spend your money. The average cost for wedding in California was $32,369- $41,000 in 2023 and continues to rise each year. I knew weddings were expensive, but the price quotes I was getting back from some vendors were insane. Make a list with your fiancè your top 3-4 wedding vendors that are important. For my husband, open bar & good food was a priority and a classy venue & lush florals were non negotiable for me. Our personal budget was $25,000- $30,000.
A helpful tip to save, look into getting married on a weekday or during off season. April-October is peak wedding season. If you’re not willingly to marry in the Winter, the next best option is getting married Monday-Thursday instead of Friday-Sunday. Thankfully our anniversary landed on a Thursday in September so picking our wedding date was the first easy decision. We saved around $4,000 having a weekday wedding.
Know your guest list count. Have a ball park number in mind. That will not only dictate your budget, but all your potential wedding vendors will ask how many guests you’re anticipating. For us, we wanted something small and intimate. Our magic number of 65 people also kept us from going over budget.
Create a mood board. Whether it’s through pinterest, canva or on a poster board, it’s a great tool to help narrow done the overall vibe and color scheme: Early on, I knew I wanted a lot of greenery and white floral, with minimal touches blue. Also pick some key adjectives to describe your ideal event. Mine was timeless, romantic, French/Italian villa.
Do what makes you and your partner happy: sounds simple enough, but it’s tricky when family and friends want to share their opinions and views. My husband and I paid for 98% of the wedding, with my mom graciously gifting us $5,000. Because of that generous donation, my mom (bless her heart) felt like she had a lot of say when it came to the guest list or music selection. At the end of the day, what we wanted and envisioned outweighed anyone’s input, even if they contributed financially.
Dress shopping tips:
The silhouette I envisioned myself in, was always a fitted mermaid with a long train, Even if you have a strong sense of what you want, try on as many cuts, shapes, fabrics, as you can. From full princess ball gowns, minimal, off the shoulder, full sleeved, lace, beaded, etc. Trying it will confirm what you love and what you don’t. I’ve also heard opposite, where you might fall in love with a dress you didn’t expect to. Keep an open mind.
Be selective with your shopping entourage. Bring people that are honest, supportive, constructively critical (but not mean) and know your taste well. Your entourage is there to uplift you, but will also tell you if something doesn’t flatter you.
I knew it was THE dress when it found me twice at 2 different bridal boutiques. A photo of the dress was saved in my phone but I never showed it to the stylists. I was obsessed both times I tried it on and the fact that two different stylists pulled it… it was meant for me. It embodied everything I wanted, it was ethereal, bridal, timeless yet modern. An added bonus it was within my budget.
Alterations, can also get pricey. I didn’t add anything extra or need to alter the fit of my dress, but hemming and creating a bustle (to pin up your train) cost me $762.51.
Hire a videographer. This was an expense we were going to cut, but I’m thankful we reconsidered. After a ton of research, we found a quality videographer at a decent price. Being able to re-live that day not only through pictures but hearing our vows or seeing ourselves walk down the aisle with our parents, it’s worth the investment.
Create a photo shot list. I don’t have a lot of regrets, but I wish certain moments were documented. Like I would have loved photos of my husband getting ready with his parents and more with his groomsmen. During the reception I wanted each table to come up to our sweetheart table to take photos but it was so busy I didn’t get a chance to communicate that with the photographer. That being said our photographer was AMAZING and captured the day perfectly.
Worth the Splurge:
Live music. There’s just something about live music that feels grand and luxe. We hired a string trio who played during the ceremony and part of cocktail hour.
Florals: The florist through the venue wasn’t quite the aesthetic I was looking for. There are plenty of people that aren’t picky with flowers, I’m not one of them,but to each their own. I wanted extravagant, big, lush florals and finding a florist who can provide that at an affordable cost was a struggle. Some price quotes I was getting back was minimum $6,000-$10,000. I was so happy to come across Malou from Blooms & Twiggs in Vallejo,CA. While the cost still wasn’t cheap, it was do-able considering the quality of her work and my floral vision.
Late night Snack. We opted out of favors but spent the money on a late night snack. This was 50/50 on whether it was worth the splurge. It was worth it because of the open bar, we wanted our guests to be well energized. But we’re also not sure how many people knew there was a nachos station. I know our DJ announced it, but the priorities were alcohol and dancing. We were in-between a taco, mac & cheese or nacho bar. The nacho bar was the least expensive so if it wasn’t utilized as much, it didn’t make a huge dent in wedding budget.
Make-up and hair. As a bride, you want to look and feel your best. I booked a very talented make-up artist who has done make up for some elite WAGS (wives and girlfriends of famous athletes). Doing a make-up trial is also really important to nail down your best look and is usually an extra cost.
Bride’s misc. cost:
Maggie Sottoro dress with matching veil: $1,289
Janene’s Bridal alterations : $762.51
Makeup: $380 + $140 traveling fee= $520
Hair: FREE, man of Honor is a hair stylist
Heels: $100
The Venue: Jefferson St. Mansion Wedgewood Weddings.
Wedgewood Weddings is an all inclusive wedding venue/planning team. You can pick and choose their packages that include: wedding planning and day of coordinator, food, bar, florals, Dj, cake, etc. Wedgewood Weddings have various venues across the US. My sister-in-law suggested to check them out and based on their pricing online, it seemed relatively reasonable.
The cost depends on the package you chose and how many guests you will have. We chose the “Elite” package which had more upgrades like open bar with top shelf alcohol, elevated linens/chairs, an extra hour of event time, a photo booth and a grand entrance sparkler. We paid $140 per person (prices vary between the Wedgewood venues). Aside from their in-house catering, if there was a different bakery, Dj or florist you wanted to use, you’re more than welcome to hire outside vendors.
I’m 100% type A personality which means I like being in control, I am by nature a planner. I can’t recommend Jefferson St. Mansion enough. They were so helpful and open via text or email if any questions or concerns came up. From the wedding planning process to the day of, they made the whole experience as stress-free as possible and were very attentive with the details and execution. Our guests raved about the food, ambience, beauty of the venue.
First look vs. no first look. This was something I was going back and forth on. I saw the pros and cons for both, but I can 100% say I’m happy we decided to do the first look. The day goes by soooo quick and the memories captured is what you have left. We paid a lot of money for our photographer, so the more photos of my husband and I together, I’m all for it. This also allowed more quality time together and slightly calmed the wedding nerves.
On the day, you will be pulled in so many different directions. You have your event timeline to follow: grand entrances, first dances, speeches, cake cutting,etc. You’re trying to mingle and chat with everyone, pose for photos, dance, drink, AND spend time with your spouse. There’s so much to do in so little time.
You’ll hear this a lot from other coup[es on their wedding day, they didn’t have time to eat. That was definitely true for us. Another reason we chose to do the first look was so we can enjoy cocktail hour after the ceremony. Our photographer wanted to take more photos during golden hour so we missed cocktail hour and literally had 2 bites each of our dinner. While I loved that we were getting the photos in….not having a moment to sit down and enjoy the food was a bummer. Again, it’s just hard to juggle it all. Shout out to our venue for packing food for us to go.
Be present. I didn’t have my phone with me and I wasn’t stressed with capturing the details. This is why you hired your photographer and videographer. I’m also fortunate to have true friends taking all the necessary content. (videos, photos, tik toks and reels). That allowed me to be in the moment, and soak everything in. That is also true for the milestones leading up to the big day. The venue tours, dress shopping, food and cake tasting, bridal shower & bach parties, be present, enjoy and absorb it all.
Party, but don’t over do it. Yes, you paid for the drinks, but you also want to remember the celebration. The whole year is spent planning and prepping for this one day. It’s the biggest, most expensive party you will throw, it would be a shame if you blacked out and missed it.
Give yourself enough time in between your wedding and honeymoon. Preparation for the wedding and the celebration itself takes a lot out of you, I can’t imagine organizing a honeymoon on top of that. We only knew the countries we were going to and accommodations. Everything else honeymoon related was delayed until afterwards. Postponing our trip 7 months kept the wedding high going and gave us another celebration to look forward to.
The day came together beautifully and honestly there’s very little I would change. We loved and highly recommend everyone we worked with.
Below is a list of the vendors used including pricing. We were very mindful and intentional on who we wanted to work with. What was important for us on our day, will look different for you. Keep in mind this was for a 2023 wedding and prices might have gone up:
Jefferson St, Mansion: $15,848.95 (includes food, open bar, cake, DJ/MC, rentals, lighting, photo booth)
Juliet Rogalskiy Photographer: $2,700
Bloom and Twiggs florals: $4,098
Black & white dance floor rental: $870
Trio string: $800
Calligrapher $217.50
Total: $26,524.45 (if we add on the cost of miscellaneous decor, tipping certain vendors, gifts for the bridal party, the cost would be closer to $27,000)
